TO: SANTA
FROM: JOHNNY
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December...
Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month!
While filled with illusion I wrote you this letter-
I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades & a football uniform.
I destroyed my brain studying the whole year!
Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school.
No one in my entire neighborhood behaved better than me, with my parents, my neigbors, my classmates and even my Brothers!
I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross the street!
There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity!
WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A F***ING YO-YO, A STUPID A$$ WHISTLE AND A PAIR OF SOCKS!
WHAT THE F*** WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BI***,
THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME SH** LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE!
AS IF YOU HADN'T FU***ED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SH**HEAD ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY F***ING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE!
PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT A$$ DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR!
I'LL F*** YOU UP!
I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID A$$ REINDEERS OF YOURS AND SCARE THEM AWAY SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT A$$ BACK TO THE NORTH POLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT F***ING BIKE, YOU PUNK B****!
YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, F*** YOU!!
NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY BE...
SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT BASTARD!!
Sincerely,
Johnny
